One: In Which Klaus Is Utterly Taken Aback

[The last thing Klaus remembers is being very forcibly reminded that, due to his injuries from being squashed by a gigantic walking chicken house, he is under strict bedrest. Of course, that doesn't stop him from immediately jumping out of bed and fumbling his way over the phone when it rings -- it could be news of what's going on with Castle Heterodyne or (he hopes not) Lucrezia. He certainly isn't prepared for a completely unfamiliar voice with a decidedly Russian accent telling him that he's over and hour late for his job at the beet farm and is therefore already over a hundred beets behind on his daily quota.]
( Some more scene-setting... )

[It's so early that it's still dark outside when he steps into the street. There are other shadowy figures walking along, shoulders hunched, and he figures that his best guess is to follow them and try to figure out where he is and what's going on. If nothing else, the natives should know. He walks up to the first one that looks promising and grabs them firmly by the shoulder to get their attention and make it clear that he could very easily snap them in half if he wanted to; his Spark may be gone, but his muscles aren't.]

I want you to tell me where I am and exactly what is going on. Now.