myblimpisbigger | Entries tagged with !action

[Klaus is expecting shit to get real by the actual day of Christmas. Things are already weird: there are new, intelligent imposter drones wandering around (one of which is in his house, which is creepy), the power went all wonky and he doesn't trust it to stay fixed, and given last year? He's pretty sure this is the tip of the iceberg in terms of what Mayfield plans to dish out.

What does this mean? He's giving out his gifts early! That's right. Baron Wulfenbach, Tyrant of Europa, seven-foot-tall mad scientist, actually bothered to get gifts for the people he's managed to grow close to in this crazy place. Weirdly enough, he has more friends here than he ever did back home.]

A; 729 Anderson Kitchen, Morning

[Dexter, your present is on the table next to the usual morning waffles. Why don't you go over and open it, since it's clearly marked for you?]

B; 729 Anderson Garage, Afternoon

[Agatha, Garviel, Doof, Diana, Dist, Eddie, and Disciple will be getting presents. For the purposes of not driving Inku insane, we'll just handwave a phonecall telling them that said presents are available in the 729 Anderson garage. Oh, and the ones that are erased? Free to show up. He'll have forgotten you almost entirely, but all the presents are marked with a name, so you won't leave empty-handed.]

[Phone]

I must admit to being somewhat disappointed. Despite the usual slew of phone calls pointing out how obvious a trap this is, I have yet to see any evidence. Furthermore, my turkey has proved remarkably boring. I was expecting something at least as interesting as last year, but I suppose an infinite turkey loop was just too difficult for Mayfield to craft on short notice.

[There's a small pause.]

Now, this holiday does not exist where I am from; the concept of giving thanks is understandably difficult for a country of self-obsessed madmen to grasp. I would like to think, however, that being in Mayfield for over a year has made me somewhat less self-obsessed, even if its effects on my madness have been negligible.

I am grateful for my sons, the one that I fathered and the ones I have come to regard as part of my family since arriving here. I am grateful for their, if not forgiveness, at least understanding for my many faults. I was given a second chance here in terms of raising a son according to his needs rather than my plans, and I am grateful for that.

I am only sorry that it took a place like Mayfield to show me how badly I had been doing before.

[Residents of 729 Anderson, your turkey has been dissected. Carved. Whatever. Same thing, really. Klaus won't be eating any because he's not stupid and just because it's not coming alive or full of spiders doesn't mean it's not dangerous, but you're welcome to some. Waffles are clearly superior anyway. Waffles and alcohol? Doubly so. Who knew Klaus got sappy instead of getting tipsy?]

A. Morning; Around Mayfield

[Klaus is taking his adorable class of drone kindergartners on another field trip around town today! And guess what the subject is? The people of the town and how they all, to a one, have some horrible and irredeemable flaw. If he knows you? That flaw is going to be very specific. But can you really get mad at him in front of a group of adorable children?]

Shhh, class, look. There's another one now.

B. Afternoon; 729 Anderson; Locked to Tarvek Sturmvoraus

[There is a very large green pod dragging down the front of the miniature Castle Wulfenbach, which is trying to very valiantly to float proudly in Wulfenhaus airspace nonetheless. It's listing pretty badly. Who cares about the pod, someone help the airship!]

C. Late Afternoon; Around Mayfield; Locked to Garviel Loken

[There are two Klaus Wulfenbachs beating the shit out of each other on a street near you, Mr. Space Marine! Wat do?]

[Klaus is, after over a year in Mayfield, used to waking up in odd situations. However, he's never experienced one quite like this.

He was expecting more deadly neurotoxin, or men in hazmat suits. He was expecting faceless men shooting children in the street and people choking on razor blades.

What he gets is a candlelit, garishly red room, a bouquet of roses he never remembers picking up, a clip-on bowtie, and a pretty blonde girl in a sequin dress who is apparently still asleep.

This is the most evil thing Mayfield has ever done.]

I would suggest waking up. The sooner you do, the sooner we can leave.

[Fate, there is an older man with a very bad haircut prodding you in the face with a bouquet of roses.

Wat do?]

[The first thing Klaus notices this morning is that there doesn't seem to be any more compulsory need to drink the milk, which is exceptionally good news, because it means no more murderous smiling drones wandering around.

The second thing he notices is that there is an unusual shadow on his lawn. A long, cylindrical shadow with... but no. Surely Mayfield didn't give him back his Castle? It's far, far too large to fit here, isn't it...?

Apparently Mayfield thought of that.

Anyone who wants to come by and remark at the new lawn ornament at 729 Anderson Lane is welcome. Klaus will be standing on the lawn, looking up in wonder at the 30 foot long miniature of his kilometer long airship. It floats gently on the morning breeze, though it stays at 729 courtesy of a chain securing it to a metal stake in the lawn.

It's like a big floating inanimate pet. And that's adorable.]

[WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF LARGE HAM.]

A; 729 Anderson

( Action for the Household )

B; Phone

[Klaus has managed to drink the Hormone-Free Milk, meaning he's been having violent mood swings all day, as his family can attest to. And now he wants to get Mayfield in on the action, because that's what you do when you're angrier than you have any memory of ever being and, thanks to that, in the full fugue of the Madness Place.]

I hate this town. And do you know what else I hate? I hate all of you. I have been in this hellhole for a YEAR and we still haven't been able to find a way out! Lazy, lazy, LAZY! Do the rest of you want to stay here?

[If the mood swings are terrifying simply by themselves, they're made even worse by the insanity they've kickstarted within him, the insanity he usually keeps so well-controlled. His voice changes, mellowing into the strained tones of fear, but the obvious thrum of madness remains no matter the tone.]

What if we are truly trapped here forever, rats in someone else's maze? I am a scientist, not a test subject! It can't really end like this. No. No no no no no no no NO NO NO NONONONONO--

[Respond to the call to try and talk him down, or make your way to 729 Anderson and confront him in person -- it's your choice.]

( Prose Introspection Goes Here )

A; Action

[So, people of Mayfield, there is a man sitting in the driveway of 729 Anderson next to an open wooden crate full of books. He seems to have sat himself down right there to read, and likely isn't going anywhere -- you're perfectly welcome to come up and pester him, if you wish.]

B; Phone

A question, Mayfield -- what is a Hero? Is a Hero by nature nothing but an embodiment of all that is deemed 'right' and 'good' within the culture he serves, or is he perhaps something greater and more difficult to define?

C; Phone: Waver Velvet

[Well, this is awkward. But he feels it must be done.]

Herr Velvet, I would like to discuss what happened.

If you're willing.

[About mid-day Monday, Klaus puts out a phone call. It's filtered to a very specific person: the person he has been tasked with murdering. Ples Tibenoch.]

I would like to meet with you, preferably somewhere secluded. Makeout Point is likely deserted at the moment and would be ideal.

If you have been given a weapon, bring it.

[He hangs up without waiting for a response and makes his way out of the house. If he stops and pauses to think about this, he'll be forced to confront what Garviel has been saying all along: he's being a fool. His notion that this is a test, that something can be gained from playing along, is worthless in the face of the fact that he is doing nothing but harming someone he gave his direct oath to protect.

But he is Klaus Wulfenbach, and he cannot back down. So he waits at the appointed area, pistol tucked into his coat, for Ples to arrive. He was, of course, unable to tell Ples why he was so intent on meeting during their call -- it was part of the rules, after all -- but he felt confident the man would show up either way. Ples Tibenoch never misses an appointment and is never late. They had agreed on 3:00 PM being an acceptable time. It is 2:59.

Time is almost up.]

{ooc: Sorry for the post being so shut; I'm hoping my previous open post makes up for that, and I'll try to do another big open one after this event is over!}

[Hey, Mayfield! Guess who's no longer droned? This guy! Now, can you guess who is not at all pleased about suddenly having lost all of his hard-won regains? This guy again! And finally, can you guess who's looking at a certain letter while eating his morning waffles, and debating what the hell he should do about it?

If you guessed half the people in Mayfield, you're probably right. But for the purposes of this post, it's this guy. One one side of his plate sits the letter, which he's read at least five times by now. On the other side sits the photo of Gilgamesh that came with it. He'll be here all morning, contemplating. Family, feel free to notice that the man of the house is no longer a drone!

And later on, he'll be making a phone call.]

Does anyone here actually believe for a moment that the person who wins this ridiculous competition will actually receive the prize offered, without a catch?

[Later in the afternoon on Easter Sunday, after family time is over (whether that's church or just loafing around with chocolate bunnies), residents may notice a group of very tiny people scuttling frantically around Mayfield's park (which is where everything seems to happen, I mean, really). This is Klaus's kindergarten class, or at least, the members of said class whose parents said they could participate in this afternoon's egg hunt.

What. Don't look at him like that. These are tiny, adorable children, even if they are drones. Do you know how difficult it is to resist that many puppy dog stares? It is very very difficult. Which is why he and Hiccup have already been out here for about half an hour, hiding chocolate eggs all over a specific perimeter. And now those eggs are falling prey to the pack of mighty hunters that is Klaus's gaggle of tiny adorable children. He is so proud of them.

Are you one of these tiny adorable children (come on, we must have some kids between three and six out there)? Are you a parent of one of said children? Do you just want to stop by to see what all the fuss is about? Feel free! There may even be left over chocolate and candy for those of you that haven't already gotten your Easter fix at home.]

{ooc: This post is open to everyone, not just any characters who happen to be Kindergarten age (though characters that are are strongly encouraged to tag in because a class of all drones would just be sad)! Feel free to stop by, watch the fun, play with the kids, or just converse with Klaus and/or Hiccup.}

A. Action for 729 Anderson
(mostly Hiccup but Lucrezia can tag in and be her usual Lucrezia-ish self too)

[This morning, Klaus made waffles for breakfast like usual. However, unlike usual, he has a motive. These waffles are extra-delicious and made with even more care than usual, and do you know why? Because he has a question to ask his son, and he wants to make sure said son is in a good mood.

You see, today, Klaus plans to be a Parent. And that means being nosy. He sits across from Hiccup and steeples his fingers.]

So.

Who are you taking to Prom?

B. Action for Ples Tibenoch

[All schools go on break this Friday, including the little kindergarten attached to Mayfield Elementary. To top it off, this week the kindergarten has been having short days, so Klaus is done with work much earlier than he usually is. Given that it's around lunchtime and he has nothing better to do, he decides to bother Ples at the bank.

Ples, there is a Baron stopping in to say hi and maybe convince you to take your break and come have lunch with him. Wat do?]

C. Phone for Garviel Loken

I was wondering if you were interested in joining me tonight, perhaps for dinner or merely a drink?

[Not that Garviel can really 'drink', except for the social aspect. But it's the thought that counts, right?]

A.

[Hey, family. Guess who's back from exploring the highway? This guy! Unfortunately, he had a run-in with a bear and... well... he's not doing so hot. But he's home! And sort of slumping against the entrance-way wall, not even bothering to kick the door closed behind him. Car buddies, feel free to follow him inside, if you like, but he knows who he needs right now.]

Hiccup!

[You see, Hiccup knows where all of his tools are, which is good, because Klaus needs the next phase of his plan to go quickly. He's going to build a little healing engine, similar to the one seen here (or more accurately here, if you want a makeshift one) only it won't be quite as little seeing as it has to go around his torso. Rin may have cauterized his wounds, but that's only a temporary fix, and he'd really rather not resort to killing himself for an easy heal. That's not how Klaus Wulfenbach rolls.]

B.

[A phonecall! Your favorite Baron has survived, Mayfield. He's feeling terribly under the weather, of course, but he's alive, which is pretty awesome. And he'd like to know if he's the only one.]

Has anyone else encountered one of the bears in the woods adjacent to the highway and lived?

[This isn't Westport. That means this is Mayfield, and for the first time, Klaus is honestly relieved to realize that.

His first order of business is checking on a certain someone left behind -- that is, Hiccup, who he last saw with his head ripped open, very much dead. Hiccup, if you are in the house, expect Klaus to find you... and inspect your head to make sure it is no longer all ripped open.]

( Phone; Filtered to Ples, Empress, Chrome, Dist, and all the other herps that Klaus has decided are his responsbility )

( Phone; Filtered to Garviel )

[Later still, Klaus will be in his garage with the door open, working on the gun that Dist made him so long ago. He hasn't had a chance to improve it since he got the second phase of his Spark back, but after the Westport incident, it suddenly occurred to him that being properly armed in case of another disaster would be a good idea.

Do you approach this strange man whose activity is making loud, sciency noises, y/n?]

{ooc: backdated to the event's end}

[It's funny. When Klaus likened running Europa to running a kindergarten, he hadn't actually had any experience in kindergarten-running.

Thanks to Mayfield, that has changed. Klaus has been the proud teacher of the Mayfield kindergarten class for quite some time now -- long enough, in fact, to have compiled several notebooks worth of notes on their behavior. As the majority, if not entirety, of his class is drones, he has decided that as there is nothing better to do, he may as well study the drone children in an attempt to better understand what long-term droning does the mind, specifically the developing mind.

Unfortunately, these notebooks are utterly devoid of documented incidents of his drone class interacting with Mayfield and its residents in a non-classroom setting.

So Klaus is taking some very excited drone kids on a field-trip to the Mayfield Fire Station. It's definitely not because he's actually rather fond of them and they sort of begged and he couldn't really say no I mean sure they're drones but they're still adorable tiny kids with big eyes and you don't know hard that is to RESIST, okay?

...Ahem.

You can find him (and his drone class):

A. Walking down the street on his way to the Fire Station (this is also a good opportunity to teach his gaggle about proper sidewalk and street-crossing etiquette), a group of kids ranging from ages three to six or so scampering behind him in a line like adorable soulless ducklings.

B. At the Fire Station, listening with veiled amusement as a drone fireman describes not a valiant fight to save someone's home, but a valiant fight to save someone's kitten that had gotten itself stuck in a tree. This is an intensely riveting story.

C. At the park because there is snow and they wanted to play in it before going home jeez don't look at him like that. Taking note of how they play is an intrinsic part of his research, okay?]

[Good day, Mayfield. You may notice that there is a young man you have never seen before walking down your streets. Every now and again, he pauses to inspect cars and hydrants and signs and really, everything that is fairly standard in a town from the 1950s.

Unfortunately, this young man is from some time in the 1800s, and furthermore, an alternate version thereof. So really, don't be too confused when he stops in the middle of the road, puts his hands on his hips, looks up to the sky and says:]

Bill? Barry? Very funny, you two, but you can shut off the simulator now. I'm sorry for ever doubting that it would work! Good lord, if this is how you two intend to prove your point to Professor Beetle, I want no part of it...

[Do you approach this strange young man?]

{All replies will be from

idkmybffeuropa }

[It is December 28th, approximately three days after Klaus received his letter from Santa. He has thus been growing slowly more and more paranoid about how people in Mayfield really feel about him: that is, he thinks each and every one of them is laughing at him behind his back. But he is a Spark! He is a Mad Scientist Tyrant Emperor! And he will not be laughed at by a bunch of idiots, even if they are stuck in the same town together.

Having his Spark back, as per the letter, isn't helping matters either; it just means he can go into phase three, the last and most dangerous phase of Madness. Which is where he is now. And he's pissed.]

You FOOLS think you can laugh at ME? Oh, yes! I KNOW what you say behind closed doors when you think I cannot hear you! I KNOW what you think of me! I may have been HOBBLED here, and my STATUS may mean nothing to you PLEBIANS, but I am STILL BARON KLAUS WULFENBACH AND I WILL SHOW YOU ALL JUST WHAT THAT MEANS!

[After presumably arguing with people on the phone, Klaus stomps off to his garage in a rage and starts building. Or rather, dismantling and re-building. Remember his plan to 'help' people by drilling into their brains? He's making that brain-driller into a hand-held portable device. See how Mayfielders like it when every part of them is susceptible to drilling, grumble grumble.

You can find him out and about anywhere, spouting more impassioned statements along the lines of 'I WILL SHOW YOU FOOLS' and possibly trying to shove that scary drill right through your face. After all, that's what a Mad Scientist does, right? Show all the fools? With drills?]

[ooc: Please put in your header whether you're on the phone or doing action, and whether it's okay to injure your character. No deaths will happen except maybe Klaus himself (though I'd like it if you asked first), given the other part of his letter stating that he cannot win a fight. His weapon is something like a huge drill with several oddly-shaped and frightening bits all going at once, for reference.

Oh, and warning for EXCESSIVE ITALIC BOLD CAPS.]

[Klaus ignored the letter when he got up, and he ignored the letter successfully for hours afterward. After hearing the mayhem over the phones all day today, he's understandably wary. Besides, he knows his letter wasn't the nicest -- hell, he was practically asking for something bad to happen to him -- and opening the reply would be opening himself up for other people to say 'I Told You So', something Klaus is very bad at hearing.

And yet, after all of that successful ignoring, he opens it anyway. He can deal with whatever the town dishes out, right? Hell, he was prepared to lose limbs to get his Spark back before. This is just another way to go about the same thing.

He doesn't immediately feel different after he's read the letter, either, probably because what he's been given just gets him closer to feeling normal and whole. It's only when he's futzed around in his garage (where he practically lives now) for all of ten minutes and already drawn up five separate redesigns of Dist's gun that it occurs to him what's going on.

Have a phonecall, Mayfield:]

I did not think they would actually give it back. However, it would be a shame to let it go to waste...

Citizens of Mayfield, I am aware that many of you have been injured, and many of these injuries are psychological. I am very well-versed in the brain and its various functions and modes of operations. If you find yourself suffering from a persistent delusion or mental block, or even just a missing limb, I may be able to help.

[...Uh oh. The way he said that last word isn't particular reassuring. In fact, it's the sort of voice that you want to run away from really fast. It's the voice of a Mad Scientist really revving up to their full potential, and it promises all sorts of sharp implements in places sharp implements shouldn't go. Do you respond?]

[ooc: The more people respond, the more paranoid Klaus will get about everything they say being a mockery. Those who take him up on his offer and don't like the whole 'drilling into your brain' part of the deal, feel free to fight him. No matter who you are, you'll win.]

[ooc: Continued from here, right after Dist shows up.]

[Hey, Dist. Why are you always in the wrong place at the wrong time? It doesn't really matter. What matters is that there is a very big man with a very big gun bearing down on you, and he doesn't look happy. In fact, he looks pretty darn furious.

You doubt? That was a big explode-y shrapnel-filled shell that just totally fucked up the ground next to your foot. And oh shit -- looks like Klaus has improved on your design.

I would suggest running as fast as those skinny legs of yours can carry you.]

You.

[Klaus was expecting poison, or spiders, or blood, or an attack turkey at the very least. However, the turkey he found on the mat contained none of these things. Instead, it held... another turkey. And then another. And another. INFINITY TURKEY.

Family can find him sitting at the kitchen table, having cleared away the Mayfield-provided feast in favor of seeing how deep the turkey goes. As it turns out, it goes very deep. He is currently using a naked razor and some tweezers, the closest he can get to decent dissection tools, to remove a turkey the size of his thumbnail from another turkey the size of a gumball. This is officially the coolest thing. TURKEY FRACTAL.

Family, don't mind him geeking out. In fact, get used to it.]

[Klaus can't help it; he's always had a sweet tooth.

So he puts the candy on his waffles because clearly he is trying to rot his teeth out his face as fast as possible. They taste rather sour, but he has an extremely refined sense of taste when it comes to waffles and thus is perfectly fine with that.

Ten minutes later, he's blown up half the kitchen. Sleipnir? That microwave you wanted? Yeah. The pieces of it that aren't burning holes in things are stuck in the ceiling. Housemates (and pretty much anyone up and down Anderson Lane) can hear maniacal, uncontrolled laughter. You see, the candy did not make Klaus into an evil mad scientist. He already was one. The candy did not make him want to take over Mayfield. He already did. The candy merely gave him access to the Madness Place, and boy, is he mad.

So hey, Mayfield, have a phonecall. If this voice being broadcast to you were a door, it would be swinging crazily off its hinges. Hell, it wouldn't even have hinges.]

I, Baron Klaus Wulfenbach, now make an open declaration to the people of Mayfield! Too long have we suffered under the oppression of all that is wholesome and sweet and American! My rival, the Empress, would have you believe that she can bring about change through her powers of cuteness alone -- this is nonsense! NONSENSE!

Only I can fix this blasted hellhole, even if I have to KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO DO IT! Don't worry. I can bring you back. ♥

I shall unveil my plan within the next twenty-four hours -- until then, DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!

[Click.]

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Klaus Wulfenbach

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Klaus Wulfenbach

Entries tagged with !action

Twenty-Seven: In Which Klaus Gets In the Spirit

Twenty-Six: In Which Klaus Nears Dangerous Levels of Fatherly Sap

Twenty-Five: In Which Klaus isn't Klaus

Twenty-Four: In Which Klaus Discovers How Evil Mayfield Can Get

Twenty-Three: In Which 729 Anderson Gets a Pet. Sort of.

Twenty-Two: In Which Klaus, Against His Better Judgement, Drinks the Milk

Twenty-One: In Which There Are Memories

Twenty: In Which Shit Gets Realer Than Ever [Locked to Ples and Hiccup]

Nineteen: In Which Klaus Comes Back In the Midst of Turmoil... Like Always

Eighteen: In Which Klaus Trains His Adorable Gaggle Of Children To Be Ruthless Hunters

Seventeen: In Which Klaus Keeps Up With His Various Acquaintances

Sixteen: In Which Klaus Bleeds All Over Everything

Fifteen: In Which Klaus Finds Himself in the Present Once Again

Fourteen: In Which Klaus Does His Job

Thirteen: In Which Klaus Is Nineteen and What Is This

Twelve: In Which The Line is Crossed

Eleven: In Which Klaus Makes a Bad Decision (Again)

Eight: In Which Klaus Finally Makes Use of That Gun

Seven: In Which Klaus Misses the Point

Six: In which Klaus Feels Better than Good, he Feels GRRRREAT!

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